The clock shows 2330 hours. I had a filling dinner and was waiting for the match to start. Yes, a football match on tv. A sport that I had started watching in the past year. Very engrossing. The sport that a majority of the world followed. The sport which had made legends out of mere men. Heroes out of boys with a passion for it. That which had seen many highs and lows. From half line goals to brawls on the field and massacres in the stands. It had everything in it.
Back to where i was. Awaiting the kick off for the most hyped match of the year. Barcelona versus Manchester United, Champions league finals. I believe it doesn't get better than this. Now I'm not a ManU fan. I am prejudiced against them. I don't know why. Which is probably why I term it a prejudice. But I have to say they are a formidable team. I respect the game they play and how they play it. There are the parts of their game i despise. But lets just keep this diplomatic. Every coin has two sides.
So, square one. I'm waiting for the match to begin. There's 45 mins remaining before the players come on to the field and shake hands in the spirit of the game. 45 minutes where my mind was idle. Nothing struck me. Absolutely nothing. I like to say "Absolutely Nothing" in the British accent. Fascinates me, their accent. Feels like the perfect way to speak English. The stiff upper lip and the pompous tone. Reminds me of Russel Peters' imitation of an Englishman. I wonder what will go through my head when i actually meet an Englishman or even worse go to England. Rude yes, but I might burst out laughing on their faces.
Revert to the living room. ME on the couch, remote in hand. TV is on and the ads are going on. Vodafone's ZOOZOO's appear. Not the most fascinating creatures. Nor are they cuddly or cute. Annoying things in white and grey. The only thing that makes these ads bearable is the concept of portraying the services in certain ads. Commendable performance by Ogilvy n Mather. That s the advertising company for Vodafone. Even the pug, and "Happy to Help" was by them. Those were ads that made heads turn, that etched itself in your memory. Everytime you see a pug, you are gonna think about Vodafone formerly known as Hutch. Isnt that a brilliant strategy?!
Deviating too much aren't I? The screen turns red and the next ad starts. The build up to the match resumes. 4 "experts" are discussing and debating the outcome of the classic encounter. Predictions begin from starting line-ups, to who will score, how many injuries and gibberish. I think to myself, "Do I really care about what these people have to say?" I think to myself, how these four grown men are debating like kids, trying to prove their superiority over the other or to show the world they have the superpower of precognition, can do it without feeling even a little dumb?! Maybe the big bucks they get shadows their sense of, I don't kno, SELF RESPECT?!
Back to where i left it. The build up ends and the match is about to begin. Graver confessions in part 2.
PEACE.
Wednesday, May 27, 2009
Wednesday, May 13, 2009
Its a Year folks..
I've been wanting to get this off my chest for quite a while now. So its just going to be a flow of thoughts and emotions. Maybe connected. May not make any sense at one go. This is more of a tribute and thanksgiving post.
I list the year 2008 as one of the darkest times in my life. For obvious reasons. Losing loved ones isn't something that goes down easily. But that's what life is about. Swallowing the bitter pill. People say it makes you tough. Beats me. I don't see myself tougher. I see myself only more detached and devoid of emotions. To be truthful, sometimes i see myself weak and distraught. I don't want to sound morose and depressed. My intentions are not to make you feel awkward while reading this. I'm just venting out what has been accumulated for a year now.
Come May the 20Th and it will be a year. Losing my mother to cancer. It was the biggest shock. Running up and down, to the hospital and back home. Consulting doctors who gave us very little or no hope. The best i heard was she had a year left in her. A year of suffering and torture if she were alive. In that sense, I'm glad she did not have to endure chemotherapy or any other harmful treatments. She breathed her last alongside all her family members.
It was the most gruesome sight. To stand there and watch helplessly, someone you cherish, slip away from your grasp. That was the moment i lost my faith in god. I'm not saying I'm an atheist. I'm an agnostic. One who says you cannot prove the absence or presence of a supernatural power. Maybe he is there, maybe he isn't. It doesn't matter to me. Its when I unconsciously changed the way i looked at things.
To put in perspective of how i felt how i felt the first couple of months. Imagine a deaf man in a dark room. He would never understand what was happening around him. Only he can keep his own spirits up. And that's what i tried doing. Everything i had to do seemed futile. Just another excuse to keep the mind occupied. To keep the defenses from collapsing and giving in to the dangerous ignorance that lurked in the dungeons of my mind. Sometimes unknowingly the dungeon doors would open and my attitude would be affected. Somehow I would gather the strength to overcome this dark force.
The strength came from outside. Yes. At least the inner strength was brought back to life by people. People like you. Reading this. Who had some space in their hearts for me. You helped in your own way, for me to learn life's lessons. You helped by being who yourself. Being there or not. Talking it out or not. Whatever it was. I learnt, I grew, I changed. I thank you, for aiding me to be what I am today. Thank you my friends and relatives.
Dedicated to the people who've been wanting to know what's within me. For those who wanted me to let things out. I know its a burden I've been carrying and I'm letting it off now. I don't know if everything i had to say is here. But, feeling much better now. Thanks a lot all of you.
I list the year 2008 as one of the darkest times in my life. For obvious reasons. Losing loved ones isn't something that goes down easily. But that's what life is about. Swallowing the bitter pill. People say it makes you tough. Beats me. I don't see myself tougher. I see myself only more detached and devoid of emotions. To be truthful, sometimes i see myself weak and distraught. I don't want to sound morose and depressed. My intentions are not to make you feel awkward while reading this. I'm just venting out what has been accumulated for a year now.
Come May the 20Th and it will be a year. Losing my mother to cancer. It was the biggest shock. Running up and down, to the hospital and back home. Consulting doctors who gave us very little or no hope. The best i heard was she had a year left in her. A year of suffering and torture if she were alive. In that sense, I'm glad she did not have to endure chemotherapy or any other harmful treatments. She breathed her last alongside all her family members.
It was the most gruesome sight. To stand there and watch helplessly, someone you cherish, slip away from your grasp. That was the moment i lost my faith in god. I'm not saying I'm an atheist. I'm an agnostic. One who says you cannot prove the absence or presence of a supernatural power. Maybe he is there, maybe he isn't. It doesn't matter to me. Its when I unconsciously changed the way i looked at things.
To put in perspective of how i felt how i felt the first couple of months. Imagine a deaf man in a dark room. He would never understand what was happening around him. Only he can keep his own spirits up. And that's what i tried doing. Everything i had to do seemed futile. Just another excuse to keep the mind occupied. To keep the defenses from collapsing and giving in to the dangerous ignorance that lurked in the dungeons of my mind. Sometimes unknowingly the dungeon doors would open and my attitude would be affected. Somehow I would gather the strength to overcome this dark force.
The strength came from outside. Yes. At least the inner strength was brought back to life by people. People like you. Reading this. Who had some space in their hearts for me. You helped in your own way, for me to learn life's lessons. You helped by being who yourself. Being there or not. Talking it out or not. Whatever it was. I learnt, I grew, I changed. I thank you, for aiding me to be what I am today. Thank you my friends and relatives.
Dedicated to the people who've been wanting to know what's within me. For those who wanted me to let things out. I know its a burden I've been carrying and I'm letting it off now. I don't know if everything i had to say is here. But, feeling much better now. Thanks a lot all of you.
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